Chapter 10 Why We Do What We Do?

1 John 1:9 ESV / 53 helpful votes

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

 I didn't realize how enchained I am in my own sin. Honestly my new addiction has caused a massive internal battle that was aways there I guess in the midst of my internal thoughts and emotions. Sex is a massive issue in my life something God made for pleasure  love, and procreation turned on me. Or actually I let it turn on me. I was "clean" for A week and Ive been thinking how serious do I take my recovery?

Spiritually mentally sexually ?  I hate to break it to you but porn is not apart of a healthy sex life it causes allot of damage mentally, destroys relationships and worst case scenario family's. I need to get a grip and make a choice and get help to see what the real issue is because I went from porn to alcohol to men to this agian.

 Its like every addiction I have and happen to stop, a new one pops up or a relapse on an old one. Like an old familiar stain . Like I said I'm happy Gods mercy is on me if I was a drug addict I would of been dead by now. I'm happy I went to Church  5 years ago hating God, life and everything in it. I'm happy I wanted a baby 5 years ago because had it not been for that miracle.

I could of been a prostitute, or at a bar every night looking for one night stands till I caught something. I could of been allot of things. But I'm here alive, Gods not done with me yet. Now I'm just here to say I'm here to conquer I'm not going to quit maybe this time ill last longer if not figure out why I'm doing what I do.